MaryClarke.jpg

The admissions whisperer

When it comes to applying for college, some well-connected Bay Area kids have a secret edge: a coach named Mary Clarke.

By Natasha Sarkisian, Photography by Julia Galdo

You follow a lot of rules if you’re one of Mary Clarke’s kids. You leave your shoes outside, you complete your work on time, and—no matter how many AP classes, student government meetings, varsity practices, riding lessons, and volunteer gigs you’ve crammed into your busier-than-a-hedge-fund-manager schedule—you’re never, ever late.

But Madison Rutkoff—16 years old, very pretty, like the nice deb, Serena, in Gossip Girl—cuts it close. She rushes into Clarke’s one-bedroom pied-à-terre high atop the Four Seasons Private Residences in San Francisco without bothering to knock, her long hair pulled into a messy ponytail, her Chanel sweater looking as if she grabbed it off the floor of her car seconds before handing her keys to the valet. Clarke, finishing up her one o’clock appointment, eyes her student with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. “How was the Caribbean? How was Jackson Hole?” she asks.

In Maddy’s moneyed family, vacations are usually pretty swell. But she lost her word-of-the-day flashcards in St. Barth’s. “It’s a good thing you called me about it, or I would have been a very unhappy camper,” Clarke admonishes, rearranging the scissors and glue sticks on her desk, clearly unhappy anyway.

Clarke, the most sought-after college coach in the Bay Area, is very particular about scissors and glue sticks—also calligraphy labels, accordion files, and color coding (yellow marker for anything positive, orange for negative, pink for not sure). She’s fanatical about her appearance, too: On this warm Sunday afternoon, she’s wearing a light green dress printed with watering cans, hoes, and pitchforks, topped by a second dress in droopy black fishnet; a red silk scarf; and orange, bamboo-shaped earrings. Think Beatrix Potter channeling Auntie Mame. Even at 65, resplendent in bright green eye shadow and glittery powder, she’s the closest thing I’ve ever seen to a walking MAC ad.

More than anything, though, Clarke is obsessive about words—prefixes, suffixes, diacritical markings, etymol­ogy, Latin and Greek roots. Her list of influential books includes Norman Lewis’s Word Power Made Easy and Jean Webster’s 1912 bildungsroman, Daddy-Long-Legs, about an orphan and the secret benefactor who offers to send her to college if she’ll write to him regularly. (Of course he falls in love with her words.) Building vocabulary is

Inside In the Know

CULTURE

The L Weird

According to many women, the lesbian moment in the Bay Area has heteros acting very odd.

METROPOLUST

Just a few good men

Our sexpert chats up a Marina divorcee determined to let her hair down. Way down.

BUSINESS

Supporting local business

5/16/08—Small Business Week is almost over, but the sidewalk sale is yet to come.

SOCIALIST

Clothes Call

It’s costume drama at Giorgio Armani as Ashley Judd swoops into town to promote De-Lovely, and Beach Blanket Babylon celebrates its 30th year.

SOCIETY

A fairly fair look at the city’s street fests

The summer outdoor festival season is upon us. With mass gatherings of shade tents, veggie corn dogs, and more muffin tops than the eye should see, San Francisco loves to celebrate itself. But let’s not forget that all street fairs are not created equal. Here’s the proof.

POLITICS

Move over, Michael Moore

A local director discusses his provocative new documentary.   

INSIDER

ODC’s Second act

Can one new building revive san Francisco's modern dance scene?

THE PROFILE

Why Kamala matters

New-school DA Kamala Harris is on a mission to remake the American way of justice, with a unique combination of prosecutorial power and the reformer’s belief in second chances. Considering her drive, charm, and friends like presidential hopeful Barack Obama, she may just be a law-and-order progressive’s best hope.

RESTAURANT SEARCH

SHOPPING GUIDE